*Writing is a growing talent. It takes time and effort and lots of practice. Call this attempt one*
She opened here eyes and looked right, towards the clock, 1:27, damn she repeated. She had lain down at 1:04, only 23 sleepless minutes had passed. She couldn’t figure out why, but she just couldn’t seem to sleep. Lately the only way she was able to sleep was to think of him, and in turn cry. It took literally seconds before the salty tears poured down her face.
He paced back and forth in front of his desk. He sat down and scribbled some words onto paper. He then proceeded to crumple the paper, and miss the trashcan completely. Why he could not sleep evaded him as well.
---
The following morning she woke up tired, mascara streaks down her face, and puddles on her pillows.
He arose slightly confused as to why he never made it to bed, but rather slept at his desk.
Until now these paths lay uncrossed, but as they did almost every morning, they collided.
She pulled in slowly. She had always been the kind of person that arrived early. She visited both of her lockers before heading to class.
He hastily pulled in back. Running up the stairs he managed to catch up with her in the hallway. He watched her walk before he approached her, the ever so gentle sway in her hips. She knew he was behind her, she always knew. She swirled around suddenly, hair in midair. “Hi,” she said joyfully. She was always the person with a smile on her face and the ability to put one on anybody else. “Uh…hello,” he managed to reply as he quickly drew his attention away from her lower half. She had, by the way, noticed. However, she failed to comprehend why. “How is your morning so far?” she asked in a lyrical tone. “Pretty good, you?” he replied in a semi-dazed tone. “Oh the usual, nothing out of the ordinary…yet.” He watched her lips move, he listened to the notes as the came from her mouth, this she did not notice.
The minute bell rang.
They reached class, and each found their assigned seats, separated from each other. He walked over to her desk and sat down on it. “Nice ass,” she muttered under her breath. “Why thank you,” he darted back in a rather sarcastic tone, he felt more relaxed now, more like himself. He wore a navy ribbed v-neck sweater, which she loved so much. She admired his body and muscles, although if asked he would deny the fact they existed. She wore her favorite jeans, the ones that looked good on her and her favorite gray sweater. There was something about her today, he noted, she appeared very self-confident. It was obvious to her that she liked him. It was not so obvious; however, to him that he liked her. Because he was unsure about his feelings, neither could be sure of what the other thought. There were definitely feelings, but there was a wall of friendship between them.
They had met 3 years ago, a shy and informal meeting, but the more they learned about each other, the more they became interested. The first year it wasn’t much of a friendship, but by the end of the year that had very much changed. By the second year they were the best of friends, and everyone but they knew how they felt about each other. Crazy and yet true. No one mentioned those feeling to him, however, he was left to deal with it himself. He remained unsure, but recently it had become more clear to him. It was weird, just talking to him made her feel nervous, she never knew what to say anymore. Recently, it had become the same for him, what had been so easy, now took a pep talk. Saying hi in the halls choked him up; he often opted for the look the other way method. He was afraid that she believed he was pulling away, that perhaps he didn’t like her as even a friend anymore. So there they were, him on her desk, and them both wondering what to say.
The last bell rang.
Lucky chance, no conversation necessary, but she had a way of saying things without saying a word. He returned to his desk and the droll of the teacher insued.
---
“Pick a partner,” the teacher said. The classroom became very noisy. She sat, for she knew he was coming. “Partner?” he questioned. A large smile came to her face as she accepted the gesture, “sure.” “There was this girl I met last night at practice.” The smile on her face remained, but died inside. He could tell something was gone, something was now missing, but why? He wondered. “SO what about her?” she asked, knowing what he meant in the first place. “Oh, well she’s really nice, and really cute, and smart, and funny.” This was the drill every time; he would get tired of a crush, pushed her aside and find a new one.
This was not the case for her, however. She had liked him as soon as she got to know him. Little did she know that her assumptions about him were incorrect. He liked her and only her, but it was difficult for him to handle that so he had to ‘like’ other girls. Her voice interrupted his thoughts. “Well, are you man enough to ask her to the dance?” She asked him in an almost comically challenging way. Crap, he thought. He was thinking about asking her, not another girl. “Yeah, maybe,” once again something died in her the moment he said that but he couldn’t figure out what it was.
If only they weren’t best friends. One sentence, from either of them could ruin their entire friendship. Neither of them wanted that, yet both wanted each other. It was a risk, a risk he might be willing to take.
Even though so much had gone on in each of their minds only a minute or so had passed. This is how their relationship had changed; they were both walking on such thin ice that they couldn’t talk.
---
She walked him to his locker and then on to her class. “Have fun!” she shouted over the crowded hall as he drifted away. In response he put an imaginary gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. She gave out a small giggle as he turned around and headed on. She wasn’t much willing to tell many people about her feelings, yet her closest friends knew. Her two classes passed, and as she exited her classroom he was there, waiting. This made her nervous because he never did this.
---
“Hello,” he said with a smile, he hooked arms with her and they walked down the hall. She was extremely careful not to show her surprise or the fact that she was nervous. A moment passed without conversation, but she had to act. “Why so cheery?” He paused, “I don’t know,” he paused to think, “nope,” he said with a wink. She knew there was a method to his madness, she just couldn’t figure out what it was. As they neared class he talked again, “Hey hon?” “yeah,” she responded. He began speaking in a rather rushed tone, “what are you doing after school until the game?” She put her hand on her forehead and thought, “Umm, nothing that I can think of, why?” They had reached class, but this time they met in the middle and headed to his seat. “I was just thinkin’, I owe you a Starbucks right?” he said in a now happy tone. “Yeah,” she replied with a laugh. “Mind if we use it up tonight?” he asked in a now eager tone. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and stared at her shoes, only to promptly come back up, “sure, I’d love to.” They quickly ran to their seats as the bell rang and class began.
---
They didn’t see each other until their second to last period, where they finally sat together. He was there first, which was very unusual, waiting for her at their table. He looked excited, she was, but hid it. The second she got to the table he began, “I’ll meet you at 3:10 out front ok?” She laughed at his excitedness only because she was feeling the same, “sure.” She went up to the teacher and asked a question about their next essay, after receiving a satisfactory answer she returned. Once again, the second she got back he spoke, “That girl I told you about, she’s in my choir.” She sounded uninterested in her reply, “oh really,” she asked rhetorically. “WE talked today, she’s not very nice, kinda bitchy,” he replied with only a tiny bit of fake disappointment. The funny part was he hadn’t talked to this girl, he just wanted to forget about her. After class he walked her half way to her last class and made her promise not to be late.
---
3:10 ticked just as she arrived; he was already there. “Ok, let’s go,” he said. “Hold on a sec. I gotta go ask somebody somethin’,” she replied. She walked over to one of her good friends while he waited and proceeded to ask her if she was going to the game. After receiving her answer she returned to him, “ready?” With an attitude that said ‘of course’ he replied with a simple, “yeah.” As they got into his car she wondered what they were going to do for three hours, it didn’t mattered she figured, they were together.
---
Starbucks approached, or rather they approached Starbucks. They both got out of the car talking about that girl he met. “I don’t know, hon,” she began, “maybe she was just having a bad day.” He glanced down at his shoes, “no, she wasn’t very nice last night either.” They both laughed as they entered the store. “Grande caramel frap, please” she ordered in that strange coffee language he found so intoxicating. “Hmm, what’s that?” he asked her. “It’s good, that’s what. Make that 2 fraps please, thanks.” They received their drinks; he was very pleased at her selection. They went back to his car and she saw it was only 3:47. He put the keys in the ignition, “now,” he began, “for the surprise.” Surprise she wondered? Oh no.
---
Nothing had been said for a while as she contemplated where they were going, but it was still all too much to handle. He lived outside of town a little ways, and at first it appeared as if they were going there. They were, until they passed it and began to go down the hill. “Where are we going?” she finally asked with a slight nervousness. “Donno,” he replied stupidly. She promptly smacked him to lighten the mood.
---
Not much farther up the road was a small dead spot of grass, just about the size of a car, he pulled over there. “Come one,” he called to her as he got out of the car, coffee in hand. They proceeded to walk up a small rocky hill. After they cleared a small grouping of trees she had to hold herself up it was so beautiful. He kept going as he called back to her to follow. Once she made it past the first drop off she spied him in a rock that looked much like a chair. He scooted over and patted the spot next to him. Following the direction she sat, still quite breathtaken at the view. “Pretty isn’t it? He asked, “no, gorgeous.” They smiled at each other. Staring off into nowhere he began to speak, “I used to come here a lot,” a pause, “It listened to all my problems, but never offered much help, except that it’d always be there.” He looked at her, “but now I have you to do that.” A smile broke onto her face; she loved being the one that everyone leaned on, yet it was her downfall. “There are times when I still come up here, when I just can’t deal,” he said to no one. “It’s nice to get away,” she spoke for the first time since she had gotten out of the car. “It’s weird, it gives me this courage, this self confidence,” he said as he stared at her. She knew he was looking at her, but she wouldn’t look back. He leaned on her shoulder, she leaned slightly back. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Sure,” she replied after a slight pause and so lightly you could barely hear. “See, you understand me, you know most of what I think,” he said kind of sadly. “Most?” she asked. “Yeah, most,” was his answer.
---
“I wish you could know it all,” he said after thinking. “Then tell me,” she replied as if she had all the answers in the world. “It’s not that simple,” was all he could say. “Ok,” she replied with a very understanding tone, she was never critical unless the time called for it.
---
“We should probably get going,” were the words that brought him out of his fantasy about her. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Um, hon?” she asked. “Yeah?” “Thank you, she said pleasantly. He responded, “No, thank you.” They were both so happy they didn’t want this to end. She quietly got up and headed towards the car. Get up, kiss her, tell her, do something he thought. “Hey,” he said to her as she prepared to climb the rocks. “Yeah?” she twirled around as if expecting something. “Nevermind,” was all he could manage, “ok then,” she said as if disappointed and they headed back up.
---
They entered together; her friend who she had talked to earlier came up. They split away from him, her friend asked if she was ok, she looked pale. She responded with a simple, “yeah I’m ok, thanks.” She returned to him, she felt safe there, like no one was judging her. They sat there for what seemed like eras watching the football team warm up, but it was all too short. “I better get to my spot,” she explained. “Ok,” he said with a comical sad face. “Thanks again,” she said as she walked away. There was no time for him to respond. Finally third quarter approached, they were free. Not as eventful as he had planned, but filled with friends.
---
The game ended, they had won, but for some reason today it didn’t matter. She would have been content even if they had lost. She sat staring at the field as the stands emptied. “Hey cutie,” he said as he approached, “ready?” She nodded her head yes in response while biting her bottom lip and fiddling with the ends of her sweater. The tears were close, but she fought to hold them in. They began to drive back to school. As they pulled in he said, “I need to tell you something.” She carefully turned towards him. He hugged her, the tears were closer. “Remember what you told me every time I thought I liked a girl?” he asked her. “Yeah, what is keeping your feelings inside going to do except tear you apart from those you truly love,” she responded with a smile, the tears gathered. “Don’t cry, not yet,” he lifted her chin up, “I needed to take that advice a long time ago.” She looked at him, very puzzled. “When I look for a girl I want intelligence, wit, sweetness, kindness, and most importantly,” she held her breath wondering what the last word was, “friendship.” Now she was really confused. “I love you,” he looked her directly in the face as he said it.
---
The rest of that conversation was a blur. All she could remember is that he said, “I love you,” she said, “me too,” and they sat there in each other's arms crying most likely with relief. It was Saturday and she didn’t feel like talking with her friends, she was too drained. She sat up in bed where there was a dozen long-stemmed roses with a note, “I love you.” She wept again, most of her energy was restored, but she wondered what would happen. She decided that for now it was not that important.
---
Monday came, her friends were worried because she had been out of touch and they were all relieved to see her, she was lucky to have friends like these. She entered her first class, and followed a trail of yellow rose petals to him standing there with a note, it read:
Hun, This weekend will always hold a special place in my heart. I’m not very good at saying thing right now so I ask, will you go out with me? Love, You know who
She looked up and back to the note, was this real? What am I doing she thought. “Yes,” she repeated with a slight nod, for the first time she realized others were around her, but she didn’t care. The world spun as they kissed it was almost like a fairy tale.
---Life was a fairy tale until about two months later. He had lost consciousness during a class. Her friends made sure she knew the ambulance left and where it was going. She ran to her car and drove more focused than ever, crying the whole way. She got there soon after he. She stood there and held his limp hand as the doctor mumbled something about a CAT scan, she wasn’t listening. They made her wait while they took him; it was the longest 20 minutes of her life. During she called his dad, who was away on an out of state trial. His mom was driving back from Denver. He hadn’t woke up when he came back from the scan and the doctor mentioned for her to come out of the room. He explained to her how he had an inoperable brain tumor, which was putting pressure on his brain. She slowly walked back in and proceeded to sit and lay her head on his chest. “I’m sorry, oh so sorry,” was audible between her near silent sobs. Slowly he opened his eyes, “what’s wrong?” he asked her. She tried, she understood, but everytime she looked at his face the emotions were too much. The doctor came in and all that she caught of the conversation was tumor, inoperable, six months. She burst out into sobs; he called her to his bedside. “Stop,” he said in a caring harshness, “you’re my rock, remember? Don’t crumble now,” he added with a smile as he gently stroked her hair. She wiped the tears and he kissed her forehead. He pointed to the door, she looked back to see all their friends standing there, waiting. She left the room and was overwhelmed by with response. Her good friend yelled at them to shut up. “He has a brain tumor, which is inoperable, and they’ve given him six months,” she made it through without crying, but when she said six months she collapsed in their arms. After regaining her composure she realized they wanted to see him. She entered the room; he offered a hug, which she took. “They want to see you,” she pointed out. “I’m fine now, let them in,” he said as if he was normal. They slowly came in, being careful to be quiet. He didn’t say it, but he appreciated it. His mother was frantically outside the window. Respectively everyone left as she entered
---
It had been ten minutes now, his mother was still crying. He looked at her sitting, as far from his mother as possible, she needed her space. He signaled ‘I love you’ to her, and she cracked a smile, he smiled back. This was too much.
---
The next four months were spent doing everything he’d never done, with her. He avoided talking about the tumor until the fifth month where they were in and out of hospitals, specialty and regular. Luckily all of his abilities had remained normal.
---
He had just visited his spot, which was now their spot. He went and returned alone. On the way back to his house he was struck by a drunk driver. The first person his parents called was her. She arrived at the hospital to find him in the same bed as the first time. She found it hard to move, but he motioned for her to come. His face was crushed but his spirit wasn’t. His mother and father left the room, but she didn’t notice. “I love you,” she said for the first time to him, “I really do.” He smiled back at her, as if he was going to live forever. His eyes closed and the smile remained. There was a steady tone in the background, as well as the steady flow of tears in her eyes.